From the very first day I said “if anything I could not stop”
“Whatever it takes no matter what the cost”
These were the words embedded in my thoughts
I never had a problem making the choice or paying the price
Until “she” came, and in a single roll, took my life in a game of dice
Now I lost my heart and gave up my soul
But I still can’t get back control
I went from a face of stone and a heart in the abyss
To a broken body just lost in a mist
How it happened I still don’t understand to this day
But all I know is that without “her” I’m taken away by the endless sea
Only “she” can find me, claim me
Return my heart and contain me
Till then I sulk in a place of eternal pain
Where my skin is peeled back by my tears of acid rain
Where the 4 horsemen step on my chest till there is nothing but earth
Till “she” returns, for without out my heart that is all I’m worth
My honor is gone, the lights are out
By body torn but and I do is scream and pout
I tried to cut out my eyes to stop the tears
But all it did was allow me to better see my fears
I’m afraid, scared, and terrified, but not of my own life
Not even of the husband and wife
I’m afraid for “she”, the only one able to heal me
The only one able to understand the pain behind my plea
I’m afraid that “she” will not find me again
I’m scared that I will not be seen
But I’m terrified that “she” will not know how I feel
How I cried for a year so that “she” will know I’m real
So I cry out for help even though I’m alone in the dark
But I also feel at home since this is where I always start
“But why? Why must this darkness feel so cold?”
“I should roar like a lion yet I feel no bigger than a toad.”
Its because of “her” I know it. That much I understand
But I’m a beast, a king, a boss. So why am I so small in “her” hands?
I guess I’ll never know the answer. And its best I not learn.
But one thing I do know is “her” very presence is what I yearn
So give me pain, give me hate,
Take scar my body up and give me a horrible fate
But nothing will overcome the pain, not in anyway
Nothing will hurt more than when “she” walked away from me that day
And until she comes back I will sit here and wait
Torn from the inside out, I wait for my horrible fate.
):<Please use my hands so that yours may never feel this pain> sad
