I'm just two and two. I am hot. I am cold. I'm the parent of numbers that can not be told Dear Jo,(I just put random guy) I don't know how to say this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it last year in your house, and I saw you sit on the crazy monk. I'm sure you're frost bitten enough to understand that your Honda sucks. I'm sending back your ring, but I'll keep your picture as a memory. You should know that I have never laughed in public about your embarassing rashes. Good Luck, Becky
Dear- your partners name- (if you're single, write John) I don't know how to say this, but __1__. I think I realized it __2__ __3__, and I saw you __4__ __5__. I'm sure you're __6__ enough to understand __7__. I'm sending back __8__, but I'll keep __9__ as a memory. You should know that I __10__ __11__. __12__ /-your name-
1.THE COLOR OF YOUR SHIRT: blue- our romance is over red- our affair is at an end white- I'm joining a monastery black- I hate you green- our horoscopes doesn't match grey- You're a perv yellow- I'm on the streets pink- Your nostrils are an insult brown- the mafia is after you no shirt- You're a loser other- I'm in love with your sister
2. WHAT MONTH WERE YOU BORN IN? January- that night february- last year march- when we were skinny dipping april- when I was high on sesame seed may- when I was shaving your legs june- when you put handcuffs on me july- when I threw up august- When I saw the tiny head september- when your dwarf bit me october- When I was taking a walk november- When I tied my shoes December- When your dog went crazy
3. FAV FOOD? tacos- in your house pizza- in your van pasta - in London Hamburger- Under the bus salad- while you were eating enchiladas chicken- with Chuck Norris kebab- in your closet fish- in woman-clothes sandwich- at the mental hospital hotdogs- in trans other- with mr and mrs Bush
4. WHATS THE COLOR OF YOUR SOCKS? yellow- hitting on red- insulting black- ignoring blue- punching purple- pour syrup on white- carve your name in grey- tear the clothes of brown- put leeches on pink- steal the toupee from no socks- sit on other- chasing out
5. WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR UNDERWEAR? black – my best friend White- my father grey- john travolta Brown- my whoopee cushion purple- my pie red- the cookiemonster blue- my alovera plant Yellow- my pen-pal from Ghana Orange – my Carl Larsson-collection (whoever that is D cool pink – my cat no underwear – my Cartman-statue Other- The crazy monk
6. WHAT DO YOU WATCH ON TV? Scrubs - woman (if you're male) / man (if you're female) O.C. - sensitive One Tree Hill - open Heroes - ashamed Lost - turned on House - cowardly Simpsons - scarred the news - Mongolian American Idol – masochistic Family Guy - senile other - frost-bitten
7.WHAT MOOD ARE YOU IN RIGHT NOW? happy- how bad I've been feeling sad- How boring you are bored- that your Honda sucks angry- that all your pimples are in the last stadium Depressed- That I have changed sex exited- that there's no solution to nervous- the Middle east Worried- that we're cousins apathetic- that Santa doesn't exist Ashamed- that I'm allergic to your hamster Hugable- that the garbage-man turns me on exceedingly happy- that I'm a clone other- "Deal or no deal" sucks
8. THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDROOM-WALLPAPER? white- your ring yellow- your love letters red- your Darth Vader-poster black- your pet rock blue- the pillows green- the pictures of Portugal Orange- your artificial teeth brown- your cellphone grey- our matching snoopy-bibs pink- the old toe-nails other- your military service-memory-box
9. THE FIRST LETTER IN YOUR NAME? A/B - Your picture C/D - the oil-stock shares E/F - My virginity G/H - your neighbor Carl I/J - The blood-test results K/L- your left ear M/N - Your suicide-note O/P - my sense Q/R - your mom S/T - Your collection of butterflies U/V/W - your crime records X/Y/Z- your highschool grades
10. LAST LETTER OF YOUR LASTNAME? A/B – shall always remember C/D – never will forget E/F – Always will try to forget G/H – will inform The Swedish Tax Agency I/J – have always felt dirty because of K/L – have never laughed in public about M/N – am making a movie about O/P – throw rocks at Q/R – informed the psychiatrist about S/T – get sick when I think about U/V/W – told the news paper about X/Y/Z – never liked
11. FAV DRINK? water- our friendship beer - pensioner Soda- a new life as a clone milk- eskimos wine- cocaine addiction Cider- a passionated intrest for mice Juice- woody allen-imitations limonade- your embarrassing rashes Whisky - destroying the 2nd world war other- hating Shrek
12. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION? Thailand - Best wishes Sweden- love England- With pain Spain- Go f*ck yourself China- gross wishes Germany- With relief Japan- go to hell Greece - Your eternal enemy Australia- say goodbye to your pet frog Leonard from me Egypt- Go now France- Good luck Other- Say goodbye to your creepy family from me
I'm a gift beyond measure, a matter of course. I'm yielded with pleasure, when taken by force Julian, the Shadow Man, The Hunter, Ljane Smith
Darkened_Queen_Of_Hearts · Thu Jun 19, 2008 @ 09:31pm · 0 Comments |