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A wee bit about the fun I had in Spain, France, and Italy |
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Damn I'm tired... stupid European switch inner clock... &_&
. . . Oh, screw it... *goes for a pack of polar ice gum*
Stupid new habits.... XD
So, on a technicality, this is my second day back. I didn't sleep on the flights to Europe, and I didn't get any sleep on the flights home. &_& In any case, I have been missing seeing the friends I made like crazy, and I was too tired when I got home the first night to do much, even talk, but I did tell my mom about a bit of the personal stuff that took place... which I'd tell Chii, too, but only in IMs. XD
The Trevi fountain is much bigger than I imagined it would be. O_O And Il David...
The Leaning Tower of Pisa gives you no room to prepare to see it. XD Too bad I couldn't get a picture... my stupid camera broke back in Zaragosa, I believe, as we were on our way to Barcelona, if I remember correctly... I really wanted to take pictures that day, too, because it was our first swim day of the entire trip, and in an ocean, of all places!! I had a lot of ackward fun that day, but it was a pretty funny day overall... after drying off, I was promptly wet when my best friend on the trip, Adam, asked me to fill up my water bottle with water from the weird nearby shower thingers, and I hesitantly complied. I saw him, at some point, watching me as I struggled to get the water into the bottle without the shower drenching me completely. I came back with a look of frozen anger on my face, my entire right side, shirt and all, drenched, and Adam trying his hardest not to laugh and failing miserably.
I was so mad... XD
But there were a lot of extra fun days, and there were days when I wanted nothing less than to flip everyone off, but couldn't make the effort because I was so exhausted (a while after boarding the bus for Pisa, and it ended about a half hour later, when I had rested. XD)
Hey! Those stupid walks uphill were exhausting for me! Especially aggravating, as some of the guys, particularly Richard and Jeff, started RUNNING uphill, which pissed me off. XD Unreasonably so, of course... but then some people towards the front were yelling at us to hurry up, and when I wasn't near the front of middle, I was struggling at the back. XD
When I was done and had rested, my optimistic side came back, and I said, "Well, at least we can say we did it..."
And was promptly pelted by some of the girls. XD
But there were days when I was really forlorn and didn't bother to hide it, and got a lot of "Are you alright, Paula?"s and I either responded "I'm fine! ^.^"
Or I was honest to them and myself at the same time and said, "I'm not doing so well, but it's a personal thing,"
and if it was Adam who'd asked, I'd say "It's really personal-I'll tell you later, if you want."
u.u
Yeeeaaah... in a sense, it really was my fault for ever feeling bad during the trip. There are those who say "It's not your fault." just to make you feel better, but when you think of things in the way I did, any bad feelings I had were my fault... well... except, maybe, for some of the more unfortunate feelings during the homestay...
But yeah... my more forlorn moments were caused by yours truly, and I knew what I had to do.
Honestly, my last night was my happiest and my saddest. I did what I had to do, and as a result, a few seconds later I was on a high for hours upon hours.
I didn't care that most girls... or people in general... would have been depressed at what had made me so happy, but I was happy. I no longer was bound by my forlorn feelings because I had broken those chains to say what I had to say, and do what I had to do, when only a few short years before, I would not have taken control of what had been making me unhappy, so that I could make myself happy.
This time I did... and it felt so good to finally be able to say, "Yeah, I did this, and I saw that, but the most important thing is that I did THIS, so TAKE THAT, LIFE!"
XD
Yeah, it's a pretty personal issue... that I barely wanted to tell my mom about, and I tell her virtually everything. As soon as we got home and she told me to spill about the trip, I told her she would be getting like ninety percent of the story, while other family members would only get about ten percent.
As it is, I'm close to spilling almost fifty percent of what happened over there right here in this journal. I think, if I'm not too tired, my diary will be the one to get the whole story... you know... once I type it out. XD
But yeah... there were tears, there were fears, the fears were overcome.
But the happiness was there, through it all, and I made it out alive, and it's so good to be back... but I really wish I could be back in Europe, running around, joking with friends, doing what I thought was impossible for me to do...
I suppose, in the end, which do I miss more? Not understanding the language or keyboards, or typing away quickly on my stupid american kyeboard?
...
Keyboard, I missed you. heart blaugh xd heart
This is technically my second day back... I even wrote in my journal just now... if I type anything in my diary, it willl be EVERYTHING, and I will cry to myself, and then laugh, and go back to crying because I miss most of the people I met or befriended while I was over there, and damnit to hell, without walking around Spain, Italy, and France, I have nothing better to do than be on line, and regain the weight I lost while I was over there! >_< Stupid unsafe neighborhoods.... stupid not having friends nearby to walk with me so I feel safer... stupid... not being with my friends... and I miss them... I miss the friends I made out of delegation members, and I miss you guys from school, and I miss Sessy, Sephy, Nightshade, Beastmaster, and damnit, I missed my family.... shoot... I missed english!! Hearing it at the DC airport, I was like "Do you hear that?"
Adam: "What? neutral "
Me: "The sound of English! I missed it so much!"
Adam: *busts out laughing* xd
 Sakura Moonflower · Wed Aug 03, 2005 @ 03:08pm · 0 Comments |
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