These past few days have been hard. Full of emotions and gossip.
Day one: Thursday. Digital day: 2
my good friend sits next to the guy i like.
i ask my good friend what they talk about, because they always talk.
"It might be about someone...."
"Me?"
"Maybe....."
"It's me."
once i get the truth out of her, she says yes. they talk about me. I found out that he doesn't want to talk to me at all. So i ask why. "IDK!" she says. A good thing is that he is confused about if i like him or not. That means, i haven't been showing it since the second week of school back in 2007.
Day Two: Friday. Digital day: 1
I find out more about why he doesn't want to talk to me
It has been pronounced that my friend will be the "spy"!
so i find that the girl he likes has a last name with the letter S. i don't want to know so she sticks out of the crowd. he doens't want to talk to me because he doesn't want me to ask him out again stare ....... i meant that asking out to be a friend thing...........
on the bright side, he still doesn't know that i like him. my plan worked half way; he wouldn't stop asking my friend in science if i liked him or not. the only response he got was, "I DON'T KNOW! ASK HER!"
but he only replies no.....
in spanish. i sit next to this annoying guy. we will call him billy bob. so billy bob has asked about my love life in the past constantly. it makes me wonder how he finds out..... stare
so he asks me if i still like the guy i like.
"No"
"did u used to like him? evil "
"Maybe..."
"Then why did you ask him out? evil "
"He's a friend?!"
"So you thought that you had a chance with you friend?" twisted
i didn't answer. i could hear the puzzled clicking together in my head. that's why i did it.
so i had no choice:
to tell ---- that i do like him
billy bob tells ---- that i don't like him, which isn't the truth
i go with choice #1
Day Three: Monday. Digital day: 2
Maybe the truth wasn't that good.
In science, he found that i did like him. it was a dissapointment for him. he didn't like it at all. as a matter of fact, he was angry. My friend told me who he likes. that girl was and is my Good friend. it was a surprise. turns out, that he did want me to know. he also doesn't want me to ask him out because he doesn't want to reject me! heart That is the nicest thing someone has done for me. Then it wondered me why he wanted me to know who he likes. which gave me the rest of the reson why he didn't talk to me.
He want's me to stay away.
But if he didn't want to reject me, he wouldn't want me to feel bad. that thought did make me feel bad. so he shoudn't think that!
Day Four: Tuesday the 15th. Digital day: 1
The truth hurts
Turns that he does. My insides froze. nothing else happened that day, except for that i needed to get thing straight. She forgot to tell him the two most important things:
He is the nicest guy i know
------ is my friend (the girl he likes)
In the night, i rehurse what i am going to say to him in advisory. i draw and write how i feel. i go to bed at 8:30.
That was the first time i could feel myself drifting deeper into unconciosness.
 averywind · Thu Jan 17, 2008 @ 02:32am · 1 Comments |
