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I think my book has hit rock bottom. I have such writers block, it isn't even funny. Why does this always happen to me? gonk Anyway, it's not like it's any good. I just want to have finally written a whole book. I always start a book, then I end up putting it down and never writting it again, I don't really care how well this one comes out, only that I actually finished it for once. Guess I'm never going to become an author like I want to. crying So sad. Oh well, guess dreams never do come true. S'pose I'll have to live with the fact that I'm never going to make anything out of my life. Wow, that's depressing. stare Actually, it isn't really depressing, I am depressed. I swear, I don't think I can do anything. I can't write, sing, draw, anything! The only thing I'm good at/with is my baby cousin.
Omg, there's a spider on the wall... Melissa.... help?
Ok, Killed the spider, now back to my dead dreams.
I know what some of you people are thinking; "why is she so concerned about what she wants to do with her life?" The truth is, I have always been concerned about it. I want to feel like there's reason I'm alive, right now I feel like I'm just a waste of air. I want to feel worth something, accomplished, all that crap. Yes, I feel very strongly about this, and yes, I am an idiot for being so. But who can blame me. I have dreams, shouldn't all people? Well, I suppose I'm just one of the people who wastes their time dreaming, and would be better just sticking to what happens in their every day lives. But I'm not going to accept that, I want to be somebody. Since I was little, I always seemed to follow in my older sister's footsteps, and I want to be myself, have my own dreams, not share hers. In my family, on my mom's side, 5/6 of the grandkids have a name that starts with C, or K. I'm the only K. Their Cammy, Kayla, Chris, Connor, and Cooper. (if you're even mildly smart, you'll figure out which one I am) I just feel like another one of them, like I'm not my own person, only another person lost in the sea of kuh sounds. crying Oh well, I s'pose I'm never going to be an individual, or my own person....
 Sirius Star Child · Mon Oct 25, 2004 @ 08:22pm · 0 Comments |
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