My darkness has consumed me. I have lost all control no longer am I the "normal" teenage girl. Now I am what I call a extraordinary being. What are they? They are people who do and think outside the box. They dont just follow their minds they follow their own hearts.
My mind is a complex rubics cube but unlike the real one mine is unbeatable, every time you think im half way figured out you hit a block and must start from the beginning again. Even i cant figure out how to beat it, it just becomes more complex and confusing.
Will i ever find happiness again? It seems only darkness and sadness stays with me. Every time i build up what seems to be true joy, it collaspes and becomes nothing but pain and torment on my heart.
Why must it overwelm me? This hatetrid, this anger, this evil that i carry. Will it ever dispers from me? No. It will stay forever. Why because you keep me down you keep the pain and torment attached to my heart.
You lied to me. You said you will fix what ever was wrong but did you? NO. Instead you used my words against me. You took my only place to excape away from me. So where am i to run? Nowhere. Your taking my freedom,my heart,my safehaven and ripping it apart. Now what? Now you put me where you feel would be best for me. Where is that? I don't know nore do I want to know. Why? Because i won't go. You can punish me and I still won't go.
All i want is to be free from you. All i want is peace. All i want is to be dead. Would that make you feel better? If i'm dead will you still feel the need to yell at me? Will you be happier? I know i would be. I know i would finaly be free from your grasp. I know you would look back on what you had and plead to god if you can have it back. You would never. Whats lost is lost and never regained again.
Alast my days of happyness are gone. My heart is weak i'm tired of fighting i'll laydown and die now so take my memories and my pain and put them away for safekeepings. Because i know sooner or later you'll look back on what has happened in my life and weep a mornful weep but no one will hear you,no one will help you,no one will care. How i do pitty you so. You should have cared more.
Lay my weary bones to rest and take one last glance for when tomorrow comes i shall be a shadow of your memory and only a memory shall be left.
Ivana
 Poetic_Indulgence · Wed Nov 21, 2007 @ 11:48pm · 2 Comments |
