Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I walk in the door. Take my shoes off... there are sores on my feet, I don't know what they're from. Somehow, I've been walking for days, or months maybe. I'm finally home.
It is the same as how I left it here. The walls are torn and scribbled on, it is a mess here. And yet it is clean, and now I see the walls are washed. Someone washed them for me, I don't know who. How nice of them. They knew I was coming back. There is a small card on the table. In strange creepy handwriting, it reads... it reads...
'Welcome Home.'
That makes me recall something.
Something--- I don't remember.
And so I have returned. I am so tired... I want to rest. But there is much I have to do... Now that I am home. But no... this is not home. This is an appartment... somewhere I lived happily once upon a time. But it is more than an appartment. But it is not home.
It is my place in the world.
It's the last place left in the entire universe.
Except the other places.
The tunnels and corridors... where the writer is lost. Where she it wanders without hope, without the key. My key.
And the house where the other is. I don't know where that is anymore. I found it once... just as I found the tunnels once... But the house both called to me and willed me away. There were two presences within, one I needed to see, and one that frightened me away.
I was frightened.
Sometimes in the night I became frightened for no reason, but this was not my fright but the writers.
I know now, there is some connection between us.
And that is what I need to do-- Find the connection, and break it.
Break it so I can live again.
And be happy again.
Also, I need to find the other... theothertheothertheotherohwhereareyou?

I sit in the middle of the place, and I see the clean walls, the feeling of order and the presence of what could have been happiness.
And as I see, it all crumbles around me.
And I am left with the writing again, now no longer jus tin my bedroom, but everywhere. There is so much more... So much more to record.
I suppose that's what I'm doing, isn't it?
Recording all the scribbles.
Maybe real people will find it someday, whenIamlonggone. I can only hope they will find it and that one... maybe just one... will... remember...
There are strangers inside my walls

And I will start to record all i have missed.
There is so much...
Why am I doing this?
I don't remember.





The beast was before me, the door behind me and then I was not there, I was screaming, I was in another room in a house somewhereelse.
It was strange here, it was frightening here and I hated it here.
The mirrors were all broken.
Everything was dusty, was old, was forgotten.
But there were footprints in the dust, there was something new in the decaying of the place, and there was someone that youremembered.
IhateyouandIhatetheotheraswell.
So I will find it and I will take it away from you. Yes, I will take it from you.
And then you will be lost.
Then I will becomeyouandIwillwearyourfaceandyouwillbemineasyouarebecomingmoreandmore.
But the beast is not here....? [No, no, there is another kind of beast here.]
Then I will leave.
I can find this place again.
I can take the other from you another time.
I have time.
Time has decayed here.

Time failed us once. All the others, [ourfriends,don'tyouremember?], me, and you too. There was a last battle, one last, and the time fell through and then it was time for execution... [timetoexecute] and we all waited for you before the axe but you never came back, I thought I would miss you and I did, then... then I hated you, I hated you for leaving us there.
DIDNTYOuREMEMBERUS?!?!?!
DIDYOUFORGET?!?!?




It cannot go back to the house.... I will not let it... It cannot...
And I will not become it.




Did I imagine half of it, then? There was not final time, there are no walls, no doors, I am standing in the middle of a feild and there are flowers here, paper flowers... and an open sky, deepest red... the feild is framed in birch trees, and I see it all, there are slashes on the trees, scribbles, all of them reading 'Time 'till XIII' and this frightens me. And I wonder if the beast is hiding in the trees, it wears a cloak of brightest red, and I do fear it so... I do not like it here, the sky is all wrong from what I remember, everything is all wrong, everything....
And the tunnels return, and the door is before me, and like the trees, the walls are marked .... 'Time 'till XIII' and I don't understand.
But maybe you do.
And so I will find you. I can go to where you are, but while you have the key while you have it, I cannot touch you, youaretheothermeandwhycannotItouchyouthen?
Iwillreachoutandtakeyourfaceaway,youareblanklikemethen.





The key, I knew, the key... It keeps me safe now.
I will move on to the next writing. I can tell,it is at a different time, the scribbling is more hurried, more distressed.



WHEREAREYOUYOUBITCH.???
Youarenot here.
Then where are you?
Are you out searching now?
Then you are lost.
You have lost the way.
And the world can no longer be real for you.
I will make it so.
The other ones like you, they cannot see you.
For the Hunter, the beast, is among them, it looks for you, and it looks for me.
It looks for us.
If you give me the key, I can keep you safe from it.
I can--- I can keep you safe from yourself.
If you give me the key, ********.
And I can take you back with me.
I can take you back to... to the friends we had once.
********?!



This must have been written while I was looking for others that could see me, that I could see.
It is true.
The world as I once knew it, it is gone.
As I stepped out of the house, the city was gone, swalloed by sand. The sky was red, the sand was white, and the wind blew... so hard...
I walked so long.
and I came across a forest of birch trees. I knew it went on forever...
I traveled through the trees, and lurked just beyond the feild of paper flowers.
The writer was there, then gone.
The beast was there, then gone.
I was there, then gone.

I am still there though.
But I am here too.
I am gone.
I will never leave.