today i feel confused.i feel like evreything outside is going just fine and evreything will be okay... but in in my mind i feel left out and nobody really knows me .sometimes i ask my self is there really a god out there watching me cuz it feels like im all alone in the dark not knowing anything .i see people smiling all the time and im wondering 'how can they be so damn happy and why cant i be like that !'then i see the projects where the real world is with peope dying gangs drugs and all that s**t .i know my life is protected right now but... what happens when i go out there? will i be misrable like those people who cant will themselves to do anything or will i be the ones always smiling with the perfect life feeling empty inside for some reason?it just makes me feel sick inside because i cant stop it and i know it !it makes me angry cause i cant do anything about it !is there even a heaven or hell? is there a god or even a devil?and the funny thing is we are all in the dark.we dont know anything here!they say how your just SO lucky when you know your not but you still agree with them anyway cuz you think it can solve your problems!!but now im begining to see !!! twisted this is not real it never was and it never will be!!god isnt real either its just a story we never have ANY proof of this becuase ITS NOT REAL!!!!!! you know what i think?!that life is some sick joke without anymoralOR meaning there is NO way of explaining it scientifically OR religously !adam and eve?BULLSHIT!!!the big bang ?EVEN MORE BULLSHIT!!!im just saying do what you want cuz i know 1 thing is ABSOULUTELY CERTAIN!everything dies! evreything even religion !it will just fade from existance like a fashion .now i dont know if im protected right now because there is nothing to protect me or yo not even god[cheh like there is one!]its just...i just cant believe i belived and trusted something that never existed.it just seems that evreything is is fake or non existant or certain now .i just need some time maybe then ill begin to see tings clearly because right now i...just...dont care.the funny thing is how care free and naive i acted saying those things.
 Xthe uncertain confessorX · Mon Jul 23, 2007 @ 09:04pm · 0 Comments |
