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At the end of the ******** prom, my boyfriend, Scott, broke up with me. I am devastated and am currently fighting through the tears as I type this. I need to get some thoughts out. Okay, I sat him down at the end of prom to ask him why he wouldn't dance with me because he thought he had told me, but he didn't. So, I told him that I had figured it out and it was because he's really not big on the whole public affection of any sort deal. I then told him that I was very understanding and that I can deal with that. He then asked, "Are you sure you're very understanding?". I then said yes to reassure him of my acceptance, but he asked me that because he was about to tell me why he was fixing to break up with me. I explained to him how much I care for him and that I'll understand anything. Then, he said, "That's what makes this so hard". My stomach dropped to the floor and proceeded to be stabbed by several little men with pitchforks. He explained to me why he said yes to me when I asked him out. He said that he was curious about being with a guy for a change. All this time he'd been telling me that he was bisexual when he was really just bicurious. He told me that I've satisfied his curiosity and now that it's out of the way, he realizes that he doesn't like me like that. I feel so used. I was in love with that guy. And he was stringing me along for such a long time. It really does hurt, a lot. More than I can express on here. But, what really tops everything off, is that this exact (EXACT) same thing was done to him about 4 months ago. He had a boyfriend, Justin, who broke up with him after Scott fulfilled his curiosity. The EXACT SAME THING!!! And then Scott turns around and does it to someone else, me. How can he do that after feeling the pain of it done to him? That's horrible. But, I don't think that's the whole story at all. I really think there's more to it than he told me and I couldn't ask him last night because the building we were in for prom was closing because it was midnight. I'm gonna talk with him today, and figure out what is going on. He might have been lying, or telling the truth with what he told me. But, if he was telling me the truth, I just don't believe it was the whole truth. Also, comments from the hicks at school have just recently been flaring up. I don't know if he's feeling uncomfortable with that either. I need to find out everything because I'm a person who needs full explanations when something happens to me or else I never can let it go. But, I'm still extremely pissed with the reason he gave me. I didn't want anything to be messy or dramatic while we were there last night, but I was being ripped to shreds on the inside. I don't even think he realized it either. I can't believe this has happened. He was/is my whole world. He was my priority even though I never would have admitted it. I love him. He was my first everything, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd base. Jeez man, if we had gotten to home and he had pulled this, I would have died on the spot. And this is my first real loss of someone I really care about. He said that after his realization of his feelings, he only thinks of me as a really good friend. Now, I can do that. It will just take me some time. But, I don't think I could stand by and watch him with someone else. I'm the extremely jealous type and I couldn't handle it at all. I'd end up punching her or something. And to make things worse yet again, he just got his haircut and it looked really really good. He became even hotter than he already was with longer hair. I feel so lost without him. What am I going to do...
 [K!ng] · Sun Apr 17, 2005 @ 05:29pm · 2 Comments |
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![[K!ng]](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/72/74/5f57b139187472.png?t=1730325918_6_11 "[K!ng]")