Ocean

• Artist: Onion_peeler99
• Description: This is just a random piece I'm making up on the spot. Enjoy! (You don't have to...I guess...)
• Date: 06/11/2009
• Tags: ocean

I hear her singing
The blue goddess opera
She lures us away, away from our safety

I see her dancing
The rythym is uneasy and out of line
But the twirls are perfect

I smell her fragrance
The salty scent is refreshing
It takes me awhile to turn away

I taste the air
It's bitter, but innocent
I want to spit it out, but you can't give back air

She takes us away...will we escape?

Comments

[MeanyAllysin]

hmmm....its not as cliche as poetry goes...but you should still be more figurative. otherwise for an on-the-spot poem its really good! 4/5 =D

[pink Maylin]

i feel the same way but it might be missing something though smile

[CookieBlueBird]

That was petty good! The descriptions were great, and I like whole theme of the ocean being a blue goddess.