• The night started out great.
    Though I admit you got here late.

    I asked you what took you so long.
    You said a conversation with a friend went wrong.

    I ask you what she said.
    Your reply was that to you she's dead.
    (Read description to get that part)

    This frightened me a bit.
    But I thought if I was nice you'd let me touch your ti- eek


    .........*ahem* You tell me I'm your sexy vampire.
    "Does that mean I'd blow up in the sun?" I inquire.

    She says, "No, it means you sparkle."
    This made me cringe, and half way through the date I called my friend, Markel.

    "Dude, I can't stand this anymore! She won't shut up about Twilight!"
    He replied, "I can't stand girls like that. Maybe you should toss her off a skylight?"

    The date finally came to close.
    I realized every word she said during the night I opposed.

    I also realized it wasn't meant to be.
    I called Markel again and told him my plan, he agreed.

    I told her it wouldn't work and my hand she grabbed.
    Before she said a word I uttered "I swear to god if you mention Twilight one more time you're getting f*cking stabbed."