Chemistry of Catastrophe

• Artist: _Roooose_
• Description: Comment D;
• Date: 12/31/2008
• Tags: chemistry catastrophe

What if I were the blood in your veins?

..Walking through you, pace by pace..

My steps, the speed of your heart..

..Reading every word gracing your body walls.

What then would I be?

A ghost haunting your subconscious.

Pulse.

By pulse.

Breath.

By precious breath.

And I'd take on every part of you.

Becoming what you are.

But then the timing is just right..

As change shifts through the autumn winds..

Turning through the breeze like a mind-

Blinded by streetlights,

Then silence.

And I am gone.

The Chemistry of Catastrophe

Comments

[Kibroth]

Definitely a different approach than much of your other work, which I can appreciate.
Not my favorite though.

Suggestion(s): Consider staying with the liquid/blood concept, replacing "autumn winds" with "russet waters", "turning" with "flowing" and "breeze" with "rivers".
I like the feel of the poem, but it feels like it's missing something (or I simply don't "get it" wink .

Still, high quality though. 4/5

-K

[Cottoncandyocbra3]

I like this one...a lot. I wonder how close my interpretation is to our intended output.

[CannibalWizards]

HOLY CRAP.
Thats really good just liike all your other masterpieces.
c:

[xXiMay]

This is great!! theres great poetry and the person uses the words , the words that show who you really are bravo!!

[Moonlight_Maiden123]

... no words can express how good that is...