The Other You

• Artist: Nitori-kun
• Description: A poem I wrote. What else could I say here? lol
• Date: 07/17/2008
• Tags:

Can you even remember a time when your sense of self wasn't someone else
when your shadow fell against the wall and it was you who took the fall
you'll grab the line you won't learn to swim
a pathetic excuse of where you've been

but I still love you for who you were,
not for who you are, or maybe you are still
who I'm without and who I have learned,
just to wish for and hope you will come home... home to me

How do you sleep at night knowing that you aren't yourself
And laugh knowing you're not you, but someone else
I'm no better, don't exactly fit the letter,
but at least I know just who I am... I just wish I knew who YOU were

but I still love you no matter what and no matter who
you choose to be and what to hold onto
just remember my smile and that three word song
don't forget I do and will always love only one person... YOU.

Comments

[Lord_Aubrey_Shade]

You can omit the last "YOU" because the audience is smart enough to realize that's who it is (and if they're not, they shouldn't be reading poetry!)
Also, I think the last line of the second to last stanza needs to be shorter. Something like "and if I don't know you, I know who I am"
My favorite line is "just remember my smile and that three word song." I like how, right there, the audience is expected to know what your three-word song is, and guess what. We do!

[SilverLaughter]

Woderfull poem. I really like how it flowed and the emotions and memories that it invoked. Kudos

[Secret Agent Cookie]

Oooh, I like it! Shares a lot of feelings and it's good~

Lol, I have nothing else to say except... FIRST COMMENT! xDDD /jokes

Lol, I still love though~