• It was the first day of seventh grade. Last year I had tried to follow in the footsteps of my straight-A sister but I failed. I look back and have trouble remembering where things went wrong. I just remember getting A’s and B’s the first quarter and soon after gliding down a slippery slope of C’s and D’s. Grades meant everything to me then… and maybe they still do. They all thought I was stupid; that something was wrong with me. But this year things will be different, I told myself. This year things will change.
    I walked to advisory with a girl named Soo. Since the day she arrived as the new girl in sixth grade, she dazzled me with her charm and intelligence. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world when our teacher assigned her to sit next to me. We whispered and giggled and ate lunch together. I smile thinking back to the times we spent together. Though we go to different high schools now, I can hardly imagine how anything could dampen the success of this strong-spirited girl.
    We arrived to class early. The desks were arranged in a strange sort of way. I can still remember the two desks we sat at with a table of three desks directly in front of us. We talked about our summer plans that came to pass, but something different was on my mind. All I could think about was what this year would bring. More than anything I needed a fresh start.
    Inez walked in and took a seat at the table in front of us. She was wearing what all the cool girls wore back then; Abercrombie & Fitch and a pair of clean, brown Uggs. I never talked to her, but I knew she was popular. Looking at her brought up thoughts of what even today I still try to dismiss; do people like me? I wasn’t unpopular at the time, but I certainly wasn’t among the most esteemed in social status. I try to tell myself that such things don’t matter to me and that to worry about ones popularity is a shallow affair, yet I cannot deny today I still wonder what people think of me. All I can do is find comfort in the fact that I have improved since seventh grade, for negative thoughts about myself circulated throughout my head often.
    Bria took a seat next to Inez. She was wearing the same outfit with minor differences as if it were some sort of uniform that popular girls wore. I almost said hello, but I stopped myself.
    Bria was my best friend. The first time I saw her was in kindergarten when she was wearing a white dress with horses printed on it. She was then and still is today and amazingly fun girl. The two of us were inseparable; the epitome of best friends.
    One day we were coloring a picture of Snow White and the seven dwarves. We argued over whether to color the dwarves’ skin yellow or orange, and this was the first of the many fights we had.
    I can’t pinpoint where our fantasy friendship went sour, I just know it did. I wish I could say it happened overnight, but the process was long and bitter. We never had that much in common, but we chose to ignore it. We were both obsessed with an online game and played it together for hours on end. She was the one who told me all the good things about myself when I couldn’t think of anything, and I did the same for her. We were both in plays, thought I was a better singer and she a better actress. I guess she changed so fast she left me behind.
    It is strange how I almost wasn’t surprised with what happened next.
    “Hey, Soo! Come sit with us!” Bria said.
    Though I was better friends with Soo at the time, Bria was also friends with Soo. I didn’t feel hurt because she was asking Soo to sit with her instead of me; I felt hurt because she was asking Soo to desert me. To sit alone at a table, I thought, there can be no worse and more embarrassing thing.
    I wasn’t sure what Soo was going to do next, I just knew that if she left me I may have burst into tears. Soo was fairly popular, and extremely well-liked. She could have sat with anyone she wanted to. But just them she decided to sit with me.
    “No thank you,” Soo replied.
    “Aww, pleeeeease?” Bria gave her a puppy-dog look.
    “Yeah, Soo, come sit with us!” Inez had joined in.
    “No thank you,” Soo said.
    She had decided to sit with me, the plain girl. I was the girl who worried about who would let me sit with them at lunch, the girl who still bit her nails. I tried my best to fit in but still never felt at home. I was chubby and not ugly but not very pretty. Everyone told me I was smart but I earned bad grades. I was the girl who had never been asked out on a date before.
    What did she see in me?
    Something stirred within the root of my being. A dead girl had come alive and was struggling to breath. This was the girl who played all day leaving her troubles far behind, the girl who often smiled and enjoyed the little things. She was the girl who told just as many stupid jokes as she did hilarious ones but laughed at them all. The girl I was long ago but chose to forget.
    I don’t understand why I cared so much about this, but I did and still do for different reasons. Just remember that what may seem stupid and insignificant to you is that complex life of seventh grade girls.
    I walked home alone with the sun on my back. Out of all the things that had occurred that day, this is the only one I can still remember. I had no idea what was in store for me; for the trifles and challenges were to come. But that doesn’t matter, because on that day, life was golden. I had found myself again, even if it would only be a short time before I lost myself again.