bloody john's entrance

• Artist: Holy chowder
• Description: see how bloody john got his start...his killer start
• Date: 10/30/2008
• Tags: short ghoststory scary

Once there was a boy named Linus who was living in a new house it was thousands of years old yet there homestead. "Mom is it true this place is haunted?" Linus said. well of course not sweetie Linuses mom said you will love this house" They walked in but that night when he was brushing his teeth and went to bed his ceiling began to make noises and his fan turned off... "Moommmm are you there is that you" Linus yelled. Linus looked up there was somthing coming out of the ceiling it was liquid and red and looked like blood and it was. "Uhhh uhhhh MOM MOM HELP" he saw somthing crawl out of the walls it was a man with a blindfold with blood all over his head he grabbed Linus by the neck blood squirted out of every part of his body and nobody ever ever ever saw Linus again... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA burning_eyes

so the next time you sleep stay awake

Comments

[ur weenis]

Is this suppose to be real?

[Clapper Cheeks]

reference image is kinda freaky but i like it.

[Holy chowder]

Basicily its one of those short ghost stories im going to fix the puncuation right now but still its supposed to be short [note] im going to make how he died in my next story "blind torture"

[Lily-Anne-Marie]

I agree with Kidalanna. It does not seem like you put much effort into it and it doesn't really make much sense.

Try developing the plot, make the story longer.

[Kidalanna]

This didn't seem like you put much effort into it. There wasn't proper capitalization, nor paragraph indents. Also, make sure you use quotations.
Next time, develop the plot a bit more. Don't try and cram a story that should be a few pages long minimum into about two paragraphs, it just doesn't work.