• On the way back from the dorms, we rode in silence. The lightning flashing in the distance occasionally illuminating his face. I started to say something and then thought better of it. He would not be receptive, not understand. He senses me looking at him.
    "What?"
    "Nothing.", I say before turning and watching the storm out my window.

    Lying in the darkness, he admits to me that what I didn't do hurt him. I ask, "Do you feel conflicted?"
    "About what?"
    "The fact that you care when you know you shouldn't?"
    Silence inside, the sound of pattering rain against the window. He sighs deeply. I roll over and stare through the dark at the wall. My question unanswered, I drift off to sleep.

    I woke to the feeling of his arms around me. I noticed that we were also holding hands. Fingers intertwined, two hands laced and locked together. It was then that I may have laughed quietly. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. He moved forward and gently kissed my shoulder. We made love then. I remember at some point, he called me by my full name. It was our most beautiful night together. And outside, the storm carried on. Not knowing it was part of what made our night so amazing.

    Afterwards, we are naked and spooning. I ask him, "What is it that you're so afraid of?"
    "Hurting people. Every person who falls for me or that I fall for, I inevitably hurt them."
    "Is that why you won't give this a chance?"
    But it's another question that goes unanswered. He drifts off to sleep in my arms and I lay awake wondering which one of us will admit to falling first.

    Another night and we are in bed again, getting ready for sleep. I draw slow shapes on his chest with my fingers. He takes my hand and places it over his heart. I feel the pounding bump beneath my palm. I almost ask, 'Can I have this?', but out of fear I keep quiet. Fear of what the answer might be. Scared that his answer would be no. Terrified that it might be yes.