The Escapee (continued)

• Artist: Chay994
• Description: Continued, please tell me if i need to edit or nething.
  Pm or comment to contact me
• Date: 08/06/2008
• Tags:

It was late, well beyond dusk as Alisandra snuck away unnoticed with the help of Bruno (who did head back). After she left, she felt more alone than ever.
"I don't even know what I'm doing! Why did I even bother leaving? I never should have left. At least there were people around me!" she muttered to herself as she fast walked down the dirt road. She turned around, "Maybe I should go back....." she turned back around, "Why make them have to be around me, a filthy half bread. A filthy drow."
"I can't believe my mother...what she was..what I am now apart of. Everyone back at camp thought that I was crazy, but they don't know what I have to deal with. No-one has to live themselves after killing their best friend, lover, and protector." The scene of him dieing replays in her head as tears start making their journey down her face.

Comments

[-Deathly Destruction-]

And as a final note, please pick a verb tense!! Most stories will be in past tense, as this one starts out as, but at the end, you've made it present tense. Fix it. Good luck.

[-Deathly Destruction-]

SPELL CHECK PLZ. Also, learn how to format short stories. Take a gander at my only submission to this arena for a helpful example. Oh, and your ideas here are terribly redundant. If you don't know what redundant means, please look it up as it will be your new vocab word for the day and something you should tell yourself to avoid. Also, please don't use parentheses- that's horrible formatting.

[StrawberryMangoIceCream]

it is sad...but you need to say who is saying the words before or after the quotation marks.3/5

[kitcatgirl122]

Update it soon please! =D
[i really want to know what happens next!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

[kitcatgirl122]

dude...
that is kind of sad crying